February 11, 2021
Updated February 15, 2021
Tessica Brown brings the “permanent” to “perm” with a revolutionary experiment in haircare. As an apparent social media influencer, there’s yet no word on how many followers she may have inspired to put the “lock” in their own “dreads. ” She has, after realizing the product works a little too well and as advertised, sought out counsel to pursue a possible law suit against the glue making giant.
The manufacturer has already issued a statement of regret: “…we are very sorry to hear about the unfortunate incident that Miss Brown experienced using our Spray Adhesive on her hair,” and there is yet no word as to whether they might consider removing the iconic imaging from their product label.
Disclaimer: The above, mostly factual report, incorporates satire to be inclusive.